High Anxiety

 I started a new job a few summers ago, and on the first day of work, I had my first anxiety episode. Yes people, Christians have anxiety too, and it is okay because we are human. I was in orientation class and just felt like I was having trouble breathing, and my left arm was hurting, so I thought I was having a heart attack. We went on a tour of the facility, and my breathing felt like it was beginning to feel constrained. I got back to the conference room and the other people went to lunch, and I fell to the ground, breathing heavy and my heart was pounding in my chest. I called my wife; and my daughter and son came to get me, but before they came, the paramedics had arrived. They ran test on me and said sit up and breath, you’re fine and your numbers look good. I started breathing as instructed and felt better. My son, when I got into the car said, “welcome to the world of anxiety.”

Jesus in His sermon on the mount, talked about a lot of different situations and instructions, and also wrote about being anxious. Matthew  six beginning in verse twenty five said, 

“"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (ESV‬‬) 

At the end of it Jesus concludes with, 

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” ‭(ESV‬‬)

Paul reminds us in Philippians Four, 

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (‭ESV‬‬) 

I read these and thought, my faith isn’t strong, I must be doing something wrong, but then I remembered that I’m a work in progress and life is tough, and it is okay if we have moments of anxiety. It doesn’t make us frail and or wrong, as I think that Jesus knew we still would worry. He was our example and also gave us these verses to remember how much we need Jesus. David cries out in Psalm Sixty one, one through four,

“HEAR MY CRY, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to You when MY HEART IS FAINT. LEAD ME TO THE ROCK that is higher than I, for You have been MY REFUGE, A STRONG TOWER AGAINST THE ENEMY. Let me DWELL IN YOUR TENT FOREVER! Let me take refuge under the SHELTER OF YOUR WINGS! Selah” (ESV) (Emphasis added)

We are human and our hearts grow faint, but it’s not that that we grow faint, but where do we turn when we do? Drugs don’t help, alcohol is just as bad, therapists are like mediums, in that they only use key words to try and pry tears from you. The enemy uses lies to make us feel inadequate and lost, just like he did with Adam and Eve, by lying to them that they could be like God. But all it did was leave them outside of Eden after it was all said and done. Perfection isn’t attainable without Jesus as much as we try, and even Jesus dealt with anxiety as we read in Luke Twenty Two beginning in verse forty one, 

“And He withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Nevertheless, NOT MY WILL, BUT YOURS, be done.” And there appeared to Him an angel from heaven, strengthening Him. And BEING IN AGONY HE PRAYED MORE EARNESTLY; and HIS SWEAT BECAME like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (ESV) (Emphasis added)

Before you write hate posts, listen to what I am saying. Jesus is God and He was showing us how we should look to God in prayer, in the Spirit and allow God’s will to be done. I grew up memorizing the “Lord’s prayer” as a Catholic during the rosary,  and reciting “Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven,” so why wouldn’t we believe and follow that? Again, it’s okay to doubt, have fear, wonder why, but to also remember that Jesus went through the agony of death on a cross, so that we wouldn’t have to.

Paul was human and dealt with lots of persecution, and he also knew that we would be anxious in a world gone crazy, so it was a reminder for us to not be anxious, but that only really happens in Christ. I’ve learned that it helps me and reminds me to just stop and pray and seek God more in those times. It’s easy to be like Peter and focus on the storms instead of God, but we have to stop and breath and remember that God is our peace. Peace that the world will never understand, and as I’ve grown deeper into God’s word, I’m learning to set my life on Him and not on things of me.  I love what Psalm One Hundred Twenty-one says,

“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.” (ESV)

I think Psalm Ninety one is deeper in meaning of evil and anxiety, but listen to what the Psalmist says beginning in verse one, 

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My Refuge and my Fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.” (ESV)

So in those times of anxiety where do you seek help? Where is your refuge and shelter,  and your trust for deliverance? The world is full of chaos and the terror of night is everywhere, but Jesus has overcome it all. It may not seem that God cares or exists, but don’t lose hope, even in your anxiety. Jesus comforts us in some of my favorite verses, Matthew Eleven beginning in verse twenty eight,  

“Come to Me, all who LABOR AND ARE HEAVY LADEN, and I will GIVE YOU REST. Take my yoke upon you, and LEARN FROM ME, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you WILL FIND REST FOR YIUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”” (ESV)

Jesus doesn’t say that you will find rest in your bodies, in your workload, in your burdens or life, but He says, you will find rest in your souls! The solution is so simple that so many think us crazy for how Jesus can save us, and the world still struggles and tries all the solutions out there, but the choice is yours! Do you repent and come into Jesus rest, or do you stay anxious? When in reality, it truly is nothing, and it leaves us restless!.” Jose Barajas

Steadfast Love

 “My mom being over ninety years old, and still going strong thru her difficult circumstances, and by those I mean, she uses a walker, has diabetes,  and still doesn’t let that weigh her down. She has a memory in that me and my brother play the Psalms for her and she memorizes them after Three times listening to them. She tells stories from her youth and throughout her lifetime, and I’m amazed of what she remembers. The other thing is that her love for each of her kids, Ten of us, is steadfast and constant, regardless of what we’ve said or done in our past. I am sure that she remembers everything we’ve done, but never brings it up to us. She may not agree with all of our ways and beliefs, but her love never changes and her prayers are always filled for each of her children. 

Lamentations Three, written by Jeremiah, references or foretells of Jesus on the cross, and prophesied  the things He will endure and have happen. The beauty of this chapter reminds us,  

“Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The STEADFAST LOVE of the Lord NEVER CEASES; HIS MERCIES NEVER come to an end; they are NEW WVERY MORNING; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will HOPE IN HIM."” ‭(ESV‬‬) 

My mom always tells me that God knows her afflictions and still her faith never wavers. I know God has known my wanderings, even when I have willfully wandered from Him, and still His mercies have been renewed every morning. This isn’t a license to keep sinning or to keep wandering in the mire of our selfish pride, but daily we should be putting our hope in Him. 

The bitterness and hardship my mom has endured to provided and love for each of us and our dad, could be said of any loving parent. My mom remembers the things that have happened in her life, and through it all she humbled her heart daily to God, knowing He was leading her through it. David writes in Psalm One Hundred and Three, and the whole Psalm is a beautiful remembrance of God’s steadfast love, says beginning in verse eight,

“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and ABOUNDING IN STEADFAST LOVE. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He DOES NOT DEAL WITH US ACCORDING TO OUR SINS, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For AS HIGH as the heavens are above the earth, so GREAT IS HIS steadfast love toward those who fear him; as FAR as the east is from the west, so far does HE REMOVE OUR transgressions from us.”  (ESV) (Emphasis added)

When we repent, God erases our past of rebellion of Him, and reminds us each morning, that as High as the heavens are, so is His steadfast love. The love that came to die for each person ever to have walked, is walking, and will walk on this earth, for anyone who will receive it, the choice is yours to make. Your body can ache and your mind may be a mess, but Jeremiah writes, that his SOUL says, “The Lord is his portion!” 

I am learning to be like that, and calling to mind all the times God has blessed us, when it seemed there was no hope, but my soul was at peace. I know that like my mom; God’s love is steadfast, and as much as my mom does love us, it doesn’t compare to God’s eternal and steadfast love. The beauty is that regardless of what we’ve done and felt the day before, He renews our soul daily, and it never comes to an end. It reminds me of what David says in Psalm four verse eight,

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (ESV)

Can you say that? Can you lie down to sleep in peace? Only in Jesus can we find true rest and peace, the problems won’t disappear, but we can DWELL in His safety. We all one day will come to an end, so my questions is, where will you put your hope? I love my mom with all my breath, but my true love and hope is in Jesus, and in God the Father, that thru His Holy Spirit, will save me and never leave me, even after my end here on earth. My prayer is that you also come  and see the goodness of the Lord before the end. I pray Jesus is your portion, and that it may also be “well” within your soul.” Jose Barajas